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![>]() Latest Discussions Mothman!
Ironhoof @ 03-15-05 09:28
Read: 20 Comments: 1
Alliance Alts
Cerrano @ 03-10-05 20:24
Read: 38 Comments: 3
Welcome to the World of Bur...
Ironhoof @ 03-10-05 16:40
Read: 21 Comments: 1
PVP Servers > Carebear S...
Ironhoof @ 03-1-05 08:24
Read: 11 Comments: 0
Status
Cinien @ 02-25-05 08:00
Read: 11 Comments: 2
Kyrins WoW UI Remix
Kyrin @ 02-22-05 16:14
Read: 15 Comments: 1
Kyrin the Rapolf
Ironhoof @ 02-21-05 19:04
Read: 146 Comments: 0
hi old CVers
Lidori @ 02-20-05 15:03
Read: 41 Comments: 1
Key to Onxyia's Layer
Ironhoof @ 02-17-05 09:23
Read: 4 Comments: 0
New Snapshots From Azeroth
Kyrin @ 02-16-05 16:26
Read: 26 Comments: 0
![>]() Recent Articles Guild Portal Added!
Ironhoof @ 12-10-04 13:24
Read: 40 Comments: 2
Record Shattered
Kyrin @ 12-1-04 12:08
Read: 15 Comments: 1
WoW Release
Bayne @ 11-21-04 19:45
Read: 10 Comments: 0
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 Welcome to the World of Burgercraft |
| Posted by Ironhoof - 03-10-05 16:40 - 1 comments |
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This was absolutely shamelessly stolen from the Wow Forums. . .Thanks Gilgamesh from The Lollipop Guild on Alleria. I laughed so hard I almost wet myself. I know its long and many of you have short attention spans, but take the time to read it through. I'm offering a money back guarantee in regards to its hilarity.
-Hoof
| QUOTE | WoB: Welcome to World of Burgercraft. Would you like a PVE value meal, a PVP value meal, or an RP value meal?
Car 1: What is the difference between the PVE and PVP meals?
WoB: The PVP burger has onions. The PVE burger does not. Except sometimes. You can add onions if you want. And we sneak some onions in toward the end of the PVE burger but you don't have to eat them. You can skip that part of the burger.
Car 1: What about the RP burger?
WoB: Vegetarian.
Car 1: What do I get besides a burger?
WoB: Fries and your choice of beverage.
Car 1: I'll have a PVE meal with a diet coke.
WoB: WoB does not support diet coke but recognizes that some of our eaters prefer it. Under our end eater license agreement, you are permitted to consume diet coke as part of you meal but you must download your own diet coke from a third party source. In the future, WoB plans to make available its own low calorie, caffeinated, cola beverage that will be integrated into the WoB eating experience and help bolster WoB's reputation as the premier provider of immersive dining solutions.
Car 1: Huh?
WoB: We got no diet coke.
Car 1: What do you have?
WoB: We have coke.
Car 1: You said I had a choice of beverage.
WoB: You can choose coke or get your own diet coke.
Car 1: Do you have anything else? What about sprite?
WoB: Sprite does not conform with WoB's vision of immersive dining. Your use of sprite would be unfair to other diners as it would deprive them of the same experience you are having. Therefore, the use of sprite in conjunction with this meal is strictly prohibited by the EELA.
Car 1: THAT IS INSANE!
WoB: Shouting angers the filet o' fish.
Car 1: Fine. I'll have coke.
WoB: Please pull up to the service window
Sign: We are aware that some of you are experiecing difficulty accessing our service window. We believe we have identified the problem as a stress failure of a service window retraction rubberband. We are currently testing a new rubberband and hope to have it in place soon. Thank you for your patience.
Car 2: OMG! WoB suxx0rz teh b1g one!111!!
Car 3: Shut up, troll. WoB meals are the best! This isn't their fault.
Car 2: Shut up, fanboi. I'm cancelling my order and going to Der EQ2chnitzel.
Cars 3-99: Then leave. Shorter line for the rest of us.
Car 3: Der EQ2chnitzel meals suck. WoB meals are so much better.
Car 2: Yeah but at least you can actually eat a Der EQ2cnitzel meal. Here you just sit hungry. OMG
Cars 3-99: Are you still here?
WoB: Thank you for your patience. The replacement rubberband did not meet our expectations so we have reverted to the old rubberband which has been patched. Here is your order.
Car 1; Thanks.... uh, you forgot my french fries.
WoB: There are no french fries
Car 1: You said it came with french fries
WoB: No, we said it came with fries.
Car 1: The difference being?
WoB: French fries are made with potatoes. Fries can be made with any starchy tuber and hot oil. At WoB we are constantly developing new and exciting fries. If you refer to the EELA, you will see that potatoes are never mentioned in connection with our fries. After our fries have been thoroughly tested and meet our standards, we will release our fries to you. You're gonna love 'em.
Car 1: So when do I get my fries?
WoB: We are not prepared to commit to a time when your fries will be ready. If we were to do so and fail to deliver as promised, you might be disappointed.
Car 1: Um, I'm pretty disappointed now. Can't you just please ask the fry guys? I promise I won't get mad.
WoB: The fry guys and the fryer array are located off-site. As I said, we are not prepared to commit to a firm fry delivery time window.
Car 1: Fine, I will eat my burger and wait for my fries....
Car 1: You forgot the pickles on my burger
WoB: No, we didn't
Car 1: There are no pickles on my burger. Look for yourself.
WoB: We are aware that some customers are reporting missing condiments during periods of service window rollback cause by the recent rubberband elasticity failure. We are unable to verify the presence or absence of condiments on burgers and cannot provide replacement condiments to our users. Doing so might result in an unscrupulous customer receiving extra pickles and ruining the eating experience for everyone. Thank you for your patience.
Car 1: There is no mustard either.
Car 2: d00d!11! You just started your meal. What makes you think you have EARNED mustard? Mustard is for the 1337 eaters who have every meal here.
Cars 3-99: Are you still here? Why do you care if he gets mustard? How does it affect your meal?
Car 1: OMG. There is a $!$%roach in my burger!
WoB: We are aware that some customers are reporting disagreeable insects in their meals. It is our experience that these insects accompany our diners to WoB in their cars and are in no way the fault of WoB. We recommend that you take the following steps, in order, if you encounter one of these insects. Check for the continued presence of the insect after each step.
1. Roll up all car widows
2. Open and close are doors firmly
3. Wash your car thoroughly inside and out.
4. Turn off your stereo, headlights, and windshield wipers.
5. Change the oil
6. Check the tire tread
7. Rotate the tires
8. Get new tires
9. Get new brakes
10. Get an alignment
11. Replace the starter solinoid
12. Replace the transmission
13. Replace the engine
14. Renew your driver's license
15. Renew your registration
16. Renew your insurance
17. Replace the car
If none of these steps fixes the problem, the insect never existed and you are making it all up to get attention.
Car 1: I did everything you said. I bought a new car. The $!$%roach is still there.
WoB: We are aware of incidents in which customers insert insects into their meals in order to gain an unfair eating advantage. We do not tolerate this behavior and will confiscate any meal found to have customer inserted insects. Further, we will cite the offeding eater for trespassing and ban them from future meals at WoB.
Car 1: I didn't put the $!$%roach in the burger.
WoB: Maybe you did and maybe you didn't. But a smart person would know when to shut his gob, wouldn't he?
Car 1: Can I have my fries now?
WoB: No. |
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Read 21 times - last
comment by Sellis
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| PVP Servers > Carebear Servers! |
| Posted by Ironhoof - 03-1-05 08:24 - 0 comments |
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| 48 Hour Free Time Extension |
| Posted by Ironhoof - 01-18-05 16:25 - 0 comments |
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Quoted from the Official Blizzard Webpage:
| QUOTE | In our effort to try to continually improve everyone's game experience, we recently updated some of our database hardware. This update required extended downtime for certain realms as we transferred some of our data from our launch servers to our new servers. The hardware update and data transfer was intended to split the load among multiple servers, which would in turn improve performance across the servers involved.
Even though our updated hardware represents some of the best technology currently available, configuration of this hardware proved problematic in some cases. We're working through the challenges diligently, and we feel that resolving the issues that some players are experiencing is just a matter of time now.
We do appreciate your patience and enthusiasm about playing World of Warcraft, and we regret that you faced periods of high traffic this past weekend that caused some of you to have a poor game experience. So, due to the extended nature of the server issues, we will be providing a free 48-hour extension of play time. As with previous extensions, this will show up as free extra time on your current billing period (or on your trial period, for those of you who purchased the game recently). We hope you'll bear with us as we continue to work hard on implementing changes for long-term stability.
We've received many calls and emails from players telling us how much they're enjoying World of Warcraft and that they would just like to have a more consistent connection experience. In order to achieve this, we will continue our analysis, and we'll continue to take further measures as needed, such as occasional login queues. However, we will also continue putting every effort into consistently delivering more information about related technical issues. Again, we appreciate your ongoing patience; our ultimate goal is to provide the high-quality gaming experience that you expect from Blizzard. |
Now.. . . . If only they could figure out how to get our goddamn server to work properly. . . .
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| Server Queue's. . . . . . |
| Posted by Ironhoof - 01-17-05 20:03 - 0 comments |
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Basically; I'm twice as pissed tonite as I was last nite. . . . The entire server queue issue is out of control. I expect to friggin wait in line at Disneyland, NOT at home in front of my computer. Here is a few links to show you guys the intensity of the problem. . .
Thread on Official Blizzard Forum (over 38 pages upon writting this)
A nice screenie of the loggin screen that *I* was faced with when I sat down after dinner (7:30pm MST). . . Please keep in mind our server is a MID RANGE pop server and we have NEVER had queues. . . . Even the first week of retail. . . A "nice" suprise to sit down to this.
And last but not least. . . Hopefully this will help some of you swallow this AWFUL pill. . .
The Queue Dance. . . . Dont wet yourself watching this =p |
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| Loot Lag! |
| Posted by Ironhoof - 01-17-05 08:31 - 5 comments |
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"Loot Lag!" Click and Laugh! ! ! !
When in the HELL are they going to fix the servers? These problems are horrible, and I'm usually very pacient when it comes to something like this. The last 3 nights IN A ROW the servers have crashed around 10:30pm MST and not come up until after 12am. Send in the Rescue Rangers!
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Read 30 times - last
comment by Zugger
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| The glory that is Penny Arcade |
| Posted by Ironhoof - 01-5-05 13:37 - 2 comments |
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One word. . . .
"Heh!!"
View more (and die laughing) at Penny Arcade!
Nuff said =) |
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Read 34 times - last
comment by Bayne
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| Second HGS Joint Raid Scheduled! |
| Posted by Ironhoof - 12-30-04 16:25 - 2 comments |
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### SENSiTiVE and CONFiDENTiAL iNFO! KEEP iT TO YOURSELF! ###
Horde Guild Summit (HGS) Raid #2
Sunday, January 2nd @ 7pm MTN/8pm CST
Battle Plan: Duskwood Invasion
Location: Duskwood
http://i17.thottbot.com/Interface/WorldMap...Duskwoodbig.jpg
Meeting Place: Grom'Gol
Plan A:
1) one group holds the road west to Westfall
2) one group holds the road north to Elwynn Forest
3) one group golds the road south to Stranglethorn Vale
4) one group pesters the city of Darkshire (highest levels)
Once groups 1, 2 and 3 are in place, group 4 begins annoying Darkshire...once the Alliance forms up and attacks group 4, group 4 can fall back to one of the groups that is meeting the least resistance for reinforcments.
Plan B (will be in effect for less than 40 attendees):
1) one group holds the south road to SV
2) one group holds the north road to Elwynn Forest
PLEASE respond in this thread if you can or will be trying to attend this!!
Unlike our last raid, the objective will be to generally raise a ton of hell in Duskwood. Our initial battleplan does NOT call for taking of cities, rather cutting off travel into and out of Duskwood (with the exception of air travel). |
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comment by Cinien
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| PVP Battlegrounds - Part 1 |
| Posted by Ironhoof - 12-22-04 08:24 - 0 comments |
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Blizzard has unveiled the first part of a multi-part article explaining PVP Battlegrounds for the very first time. Not only do the Battlegrounds sound very well thought through, they also seem to have a huge potentional for +++Fun Factor +++.
The first Battleground will be called Alterac Valley; and more information can be found here. The article hints at the PVP honor system, and has a very cool screenshot of an Orc wearing the honor reward armor, riding an honor reward mount.
Something to get VERY VERY excited about.
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| Matrix Death Squad! |
| Posted by Ironhoof - 12-16-04 17:06 - 0 comments |
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On the eve of 12/15, Wrath of the Horde took place in the first "Large Scale Joint Raid Effort" on Kel'Thuzad. Over 13 Guilds, 170 members of the Horde banded together and stormed Southshore in Hillsbrad. Here is a meer glimpse into the carnage!
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The bottom row of pictures are of the fabled "Matrix Death Squad!" At one point I'd reckon we had well over 100 of these guards spawned. If you look closely in the "Matrix Death Squad" pictures you'll also see some very unhappy Enraged Hippogryphs, they were a little mad we were stomping through their town =)
The lag that surrounded the event was TREMENDOUS, at times making insta-cast spells take over 30 seconds to cast. However, the event was truely something to behold. The next large scale raid like this will be planned more carefully, and in my approximation, be much more successful!
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| Free Anarchy |
| Posted by Kyrin - 12-15-04 15:31 - 1 comments |
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I don't have time to and if I did I'd use it on WOW, but this is too good a deal not share with friends:
Play Anarchy Online for Free for a year
Yep, a full year - for free. Think WOW and EQ2 hurt their player base any? |
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Read 27 times - last
comment by Ironhoof
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| "Alliance of the Horde" Raiding Guidelines |
| Posted by Ironhoof - 12-14-04 11:35 - 0 comments |
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This comes directly from the AotH forum:
1. Reduce your video settings, and turn off the ability to view your names. A lagfest will lead to your death.
2. I want my trusted advisors (Church and Kilgore) in a separate Ventrilo channel with me so I can both ask for and receive advice. If/when we need to create a second Raid Group, it will be Church leading the 2nd, and Kilgore leading the third. Don't worry, in future raids, we'll pass around the Raid leader role.
3. Please get there early. With tons of people coming, it'd be nice to get a head start on organizing.
4. Join the chat channel /HordeGuildSummit. Then you can talk in that channel by using: /5 <my message> Feel free to chat about anything there...just do not give any orders or speak anything that might resemble an order.
5. If you are not a group leader, stick to your group leader.
6. If you are a group leader, make sure you listen and obey my orders only. People will be shouting to try other shit, and we're not having it. It's a focused annhiliation of a town, not a free for all. Keep your group together and follow orders.
7. Refrain from speaking in Raid chat. Raid chat is Red, and noticeable. I will be giving orders from there in ALL CAPS, and asking all combatants to refrain from chatting there.
8. During the organization period, please be as helpful as possible. If people are generally not following some of these rules, please /w them and explain to them why it's important to do so, as a favor to me.
Gameplan: I will asking the level 40+ to be on guard detail, and the rest of the army to be on Alliance detail. If you are 40+, your primary targets are guards. If you are under 40, your primary targets are Alliance. Obviously if your primary is not there, kill what you see.
I will be putting the troops in formation at the field of TM before the battle. Warriors and Rogues in the front, the rest in the back. Please hold your formation until I order the army to move. Once the battle begins, you can scurry about killing things.
This way we have the best chance to neutralizing the NPC threat and the Alliance threat, with the most efficiency. |
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| WoTH a member of the "Horde Guild Summit" |
| Posted by Ironhoof - 12-14-04 10:00 - 9 comments |
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Thanks to some work by Clis, Wrath of the Horde is now part of the "Horde Guild Summit" on Kel'Thuzad. Basically, the Summit is a large group of guilds that will get together fairly regularly and raid predetermined Alliance "hot-spots". Currently there are about 8 guilds signed up, including Leet for Life and Horde Gone Wild (which are the 2 largest Horde guilds on the server). I'm excited about being a part of a "Large Scale Invading Force" such as this. . . Should prove VERY intresting and make for some CRAZY battles.
Following is the information for the first planned raid on Wednesday 12/15. Please post a short message in this thread if you think you can attend. I would like us to make a strong showing, and hopefully show up with at least 2 groups (10 folks). There is ABSOLUTELY NO LEVEL LIMIT. If you are available to come I urge you to do some. A 150point heal on my sorry butt is better than none, etc etc.
I am making a seperate thread for comments related to the Summit in the members section, please refrain from posting comments here, only post if you will be able to attend or not.
We need to report our "estimated numbers" back to the summit council.
Here are the details of the first event:
| QUOTE |
Since we've received a lot of attention over this Alliance of Horde Guilds, I'd like to start our first raid with a curveball. We're not going to Ashenvale on Wednesday, we're going to hit the Eastern Kingdoms. The Alliance will no doubt be expecting us to hit Astranaar since it's been posted publicly, but I am now going to make the next chess move and change the plans.
I am proposing we gather at the farm field in Tarren Mill, and march on South Shore! It's destruction will mark the first day in the history of the Horde Alliance! Here are the details:
When: Wednesday, 12/15 @ 9pm MTN/10pm CST
Where: Meet at Tarren Mill's farm field
Level Requirement: None...everyone welcome! Lowbies shouldn't expect rezzes though, as the guards may have their way with them repeatedly. Healers should use discretion on who they are rezzing...the 40+ members are obviously needed more to sustain the attack.
Plans:
Organize the raid for 30 minutes.
At 9:30pm sharp we march to South Shore, crushing the guards and holding the town as long as we can. This is an ambitious plan, but we shall prevail!
Attending Guilds (and number of people coming):
The Brew Masters (10+)
Injustice League (8+)
The Column (8+)
Wrath of the Horde
<more to come as they sign up>
Raid Group Leaders:
Wingo, The Brew Masters
Gerik/Sachiel (Injustice League)
Buddyniw (The Column)
Clis/Ironhoof (Wrath of the Horde)
<more to come>
Chat Channel to Join: /HordeGuildSummit |
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Read 68 times - last
comment by Clis
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| Blizzard Makes a STAND! |
| Posted by Ironhoof - 12-13-04 09:59 - 3 comments |
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Blizzard has officially said that selling in-game goodies for real-life jack will not fly. Granted, SoE said the same thing 4 years ago, and there are still folks who make a friggin living by selling platinum, power leveling and selling items in "the other game". We'll hope Blizzards is hard-core and follows through with this. Selling ingame stuff for RL money *greatly* effects ingame economy, and often creates a "perma-camp" enviroment with certain mobs/areas. . . 
| QUOTE | It has come to our attention that certain individuals are selling Blizzard's in-game property for cash on auction sites such as eBay and on personal websites. The World of Warcraft Terms of Use clearly state that all of the content in World of Warcraft is the property of Blizzard, and Blizzard does not allow "in game" items to be sold for real money. Accordingly, Blizzard Entertainment will take any and all actions necessary to stop this behavior. Not only do we believe that it is illegal, but it also has the potential to damage the game economy and overall experience for the many thousands of others who play World of Warcraft for fun. In order to promote a fun and fair environment for all our customers, we are actively investigating those individuals who engage in this inappropriate activity and reserve the right to take legal action against these individuals to protect World of Warcraft for all those who "play by the rules." If you are found to be selling in-game property (such as coins, items, or characters), for real money, you will lose your characters and accounts, and Blizzard Entertainment reserves its right to pursue legal action against you as well.
We also want to remind potential buyers in the game to please refrain from buying in-game property with real money. We understand the temptation to purchase better items, but Blizzard, and not the seller, does own all in-game property. In addition, we feel that characters can find ample equipment and money within the game through their own adventuring and questing. Please understand that if you do purchase in-game property from sellers on eBay and personal sites, we may temporarily suspend your account, and at the very least, delete the offending items.
Thank you for understanding our position. Blizzard Entertainment is committed to maintaining the atmosphere of fair play and fun in World of Warcraft. |
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Read 35 times - last
comment by Dern
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