Mr. Allum submits, for himself, Mr. Garwood, Mr. Martin and Mr. Cherry

A BILL

To end highway funding for Delaware and improve highway funding for Michigan.

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled.

SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.

This Act may be cited as the `Justice in Highway Funding Act'.

SECTION 2. FINDINGS.

1) The United States has an enormous budget deficit, expected to exceed $500 billion.
2) Budget deficits are bad.
3) To restrict said budget deficits, superfluous spending must be cut.
4) According to the US Census Bureau, the mean travel time to work for Delawareans is merely 24.0 minutes, as opposed to a national average of 25.5 minutes.
5) Delaware is a very small state, of only 1,954 square miles.
6) Delaware has an enormous population density of 401.1 square miles.
7) Therefore, the necessity of federal funding is dubious.
8) Delaware has a per capita income of $23,305, compared to a US average of $21,587.
9) Delaware has a homeownership rate of 72.3% compared to a national average of 66.2%.
10) Delaware has a poverty rate of 9.2%, compared to a national average of 12.4%.
11) Delaware has the 17th highest crime rate in the nation, in spite of the obvious administrative benefits of having a highly centralized population.
12) As is common knowledge, all crime is caused exclusively by economic oppression and areas with high poverty always correlate with high crime.
13) Delaware has a prodigiously low poverty rate, so Delaware's high crime rate must be due to an enormously inept state administration.
14) Delaware is the first state and has had many of time to work out these difficulties.
15) It is the Federal Government's sacred duty to interfere in the matters of the states for the common good, especially in ways that are against the spirit of the Constitution.
16) Delaware has been an unending drain upon the Union and this drain must be ended in this time of adversity.
17) Michigan highways are considered to be within the lowest five in terms of quality in the country and additional funds would help to improve the quality of the roads.

SECTION 3. CESSATION OF HIGHWAY FUNDING

1) All highway funding for Delaware is immediately ended.
2) Highway funding will be restored when the following two conditions have been met:
a. The crime rate of Delaware drops from 4,478.1 per 100,000 people to 3,800 per 100,000 people.
b. The state builds a marble statue of President George W. Bush outside the State Capitol.
3) Until such a time as the conditions in Section 3.2 of this bill are met, the state of Michigan will recieve additional highway funding in the amount that would previously have gone to Delaware.

SECTION 4. ENACTMENT CLAUSE.

This bill shall take effect the fiscal year after its passage.